Astoria Diner is a Disaster

Ever since the Astoria Diner moved in (32-50 Steinway) I’ve been a little skeptical. I was burned too many times by the previous two diners. After last night, I’m convinced that there is something about that location that prevents there being a decent diner near my house. I love diners. I’d gladly eat at a diner. But, it has to be a good diner. Astoria has a fabulous diner, but it is not Astoria Diner.
Prior to it being the Astoria Diner the space was occupied by Millennium Restaurant and then Modern Age Diner. At first Millennium was great; it was the perfect place to grab a quick bite before going to the movie theatre. Then, things started to go sour. First, the service was a little slower, and then the food took a while to get to the table. Before too long it was a little annoying. The food was still good, but not worth the wait. The key to good diner food, in my opinion is that it is tasty and quick. If I want to wait I will go to a “real restaurant.” Then all of a sudden there was a new name, and new awning. The menu was the same (actually they crossed out Millennium on the menus and wrote in Modern), the décor was the same and so was the staff (presumably family since they all looked alike, but I could be wrong). Still, I gave it a chance hoping they got their act together. They got worse. Not only was the service bad, so was the food. It would get to you cold and bland.
So, with all this in the same spot as Astoria Diner I was very skeptical about it.
John and I gave it a shot last night. Instead, it should be shot. The menu is different, so is the staff and décor so I can safely assume new ownership. However, there is nothing special to the menu. It’s a standard Greek Diner menu. Basic sandwiches and platters, salad selection a little sad, and the usual Greek speacialties. No real zip. Although they did seem to have an extensive dessert menu and the banana split I saw come out was huge. The lighting was a little too bright in my opinion. And the staff kept playing with the lights, turning them down and back up again to the same place it was to start with. It’s really annoying and until I saw them do it I thought they were having power problems. Our waitress was a little weird. You could tell she was forcing the friendly too much all over the place (except at our table). She even kissed a baby! What the? And, we kept hearing her tell the same story about how the boss disrespected her or some such nonsense over and over again. Once was enough, thank you. We had a lot of time to observe the diner since we waited over a half an hour for our order. And all we ordered was sandwiches because we were on our way to see Narnia. It wasn’t until we realized we had 10 minutes to eat so that we would get there on time we asked her about it and we still had to wait 5 minutes. It was as if we were invisible to her. She was chatting up other tables and seemed to rush every other order around but ours. 2 sandwiches that took 30 minutes, they should be good right? Wrong. John was so not impressed with his Rueben. Too hot and I could see it was hard for him to cut through it, and he’s a carpenter, he cuts things for a living. My tuna salad was dry and had a funky aftertaste. There was so much lettuce; I had to dismantle it to fit it in my mouth. The 2 onion rings that came with mine were cold. So I assume that mine was finished a while into our wait and was just sitting there. I wonder if John’s was as well and they threw it in to heat again, explaining the excessive heat from it and the rubbery texture. Even if it was good we couldn’t enjoy it because we were now rushing through it to get to the movie. When we asked for the check, she was surprised we were already finished. Well, finished enough since we didn’t actually feel like eating everything we got. This spot is cursed. No food establishment should ever open here, ever again. Avoid this place at all costs .That is unless you like waiting a half an hour for bland funky food. From now on the walk over to Michael’s Restaurant is more than worth it.


Micaheal’s Restaurant(33-17 Broadway) is an awesome diner and I never have had any reservations about eating there or bringing someone there. Even if I am in a picky mood I know I will find something to eat there and I won’t be disappointed. They have a great diner menu, which even includes traditional Irish breakfasts. John, as the expert in that department, has asserted that the breakfast is as authentic as he can expect from non-Irish and has not been disappointed with it yet. I’ve had a variety of items from the menu from breakfast, to sandwiches and salads. Every time I’ve been happily satisfied with my meal. The staff is friendly and courteous. The older Greek waiters will happily engage in neighborhood conversation with you and they actually check to see how your order is coming along. Even when they are crowded the quality of food and service does not decline. My favorite part of Michael’s is how they have contrasting pictures of streets and landmarks from the same perspective many many years apart along all the walls so each booth has one. A history lesson at the same time. The other good thing is that they are open 24 hours. I can get a fix whenever I want. In the diner wars, Michael’s totally KO’s Astoria Disaster, I mean Diner, any day.